22. High-heel rule: You must be able to run in them—on cobblestones, on a dock, in case of a spontaneous foot race.
23. Clothes can cost any amount, but they must fit. Many a preppy has an item from a vintage shop or a lost-and-found bin at the club that was tailored and looks incredibly chic.
24. Do not fret if cashmere is too pricey. Preppies love cotton and merino-wool sweaters.
25. We do not wear our cell phones or BlackBerrys suspended from our belts. (That includes you, President Obama.)
26. Real suspenders are attached with buttons. We do not wear the clip versions.
27. Learn how to tie your bow tie. Do not invest in clip-ons.
28. Preppies are considerate about dressing our age. It is for you, not for us.
29. Men, if you made the mistake of buying Tevas or leather sandals, please give them to Goodwill.
30. You may, however, wear flip-flops to the beach if your toes are presentable. Be vigilant!
31. Pareos (sarongs) are for the beach, not for the mall. (Even if it's near the beach.)
32. Riding boots may be worn by non-riders; cowboy boots may be worn by those who have never been on a horse. However, cowboy hats may not be worn by anyone who isn't technically a cowboy or a cowgirl.
33. You may wear a Harvard sweatshirt if: you attended Harvard, your spouse attended Harvard, or your children attend Harvard. Otherwise, you are inviting an uncomfortable question.
34. If your best friend is a designer (clothes, accessories, jewelry), you should wear a piece from his or her collection. If his or her taste and yours don't coincide, buy a piece or two to show your loyal support—but don't wear them.
35. Every preppy woman has a friend who is a jewelry designer. (Goodluck ladies! :D)
36. No man bags. (What?!?!?!?)
37. Preppies don't perm their hair.
38. Preppy men do not believe that comb-overs disguise anything.
39. You can never go wrong with a trench coat.
40. Sweat suits are for sweating. You can try to get away with wearing sweats to carpool, to pick up the newspaper, or to drive to the dump, but last time you were at the dump, the drop-dead-attractive widower from Maple Lane was there, too.
And finally:
41. The best fashion statement is no fashion statement.
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